Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
