In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize