I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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