so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
