Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cannot find my penis.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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