We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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