There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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