Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
