remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
