I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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