Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize