Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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