oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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