I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
