i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
