yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Alive.
So much puke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
