Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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