I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
