Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
