When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize