You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
