Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
