My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your penis caused this!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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