i think my tv is drunk
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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