My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
