Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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