You work out of a Hotel?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize