I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize