we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
