If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's like heaven, but drunker
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
