just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Randomize
