So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
