Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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