I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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