NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
