Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
