Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
