All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
