i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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