the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
