If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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