the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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