Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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