This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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