Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
