you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
