The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
