my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
