There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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