Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
