I just made out with a guy for $7.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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