But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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