tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I supernannyed him into submission
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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