Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize