remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
