ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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