While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
