Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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