i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My hand turned me down
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
