Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so that wasnt chicken after all
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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