i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
