Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
