i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I forget how to act sober
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
