At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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