a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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