apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
