Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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