just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
