I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
