I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
