For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
