Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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