He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
