You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
