Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
