Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
