i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
