Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
