you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
