you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
