Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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